twofingersandathumb

Many groups and organizations here in the United States have been gathering and sending holiday care packages to our troops. This is a wonderful way of remembering and supporting them. What is even more wonderful is when the troops receive what they need. This happens when the people sending the care packages do their homework to discover what is necessary and what is not, because not all deployed personnel need the same things.

Here’s how it went with my daughter’s unit, currently deployed in Iraq: Several people had asked me what was she and her unit needed. So I asked my daughter to find out. Her unit is stationed “behind the wire”. There is an exchange, a chow hall and other amenities. The needs of her unit are different from those of a unit that is regularly “outside the wire”. She sent me a detailed list, which I distributed to those who asked. Items were collected and boxes shipped.

I received a phone call from my daughter a few days ago. She mentioned all the packages her unit was receiving. A lot of the packages contained things that were not needed, wanted or necessary. I was perplexed since many of the packages she was speaking of were from groups who got her list.

It’s not that the troops do not appreciate care packages. But there has to be some disappointment when yet another box full of toothpaste arrives at a unit that already has enough toothpaste on hand to last for a couple of years. The best things they’ve received at my daughter’s unit are small toys like yo-yos and slinkies that supply simple entertainment, games and homemade goodies.

The lesson I brought home from this conversation: The value of a gift is determined by the receiver and not the giver. Listen to what people want. Even if they don’t say it outright, you can pick up on what they will value by listening to them.

I have received gifts from well-meaning people who just somehow miss the mark. Their intentions are good, but they give something I don’t need, can’t use or already have. Most of us have experienced this; customer service counters at retail stores are mobbed on the day after Christmas with recipients returning unwanted gifts.

Giving a gift just because it’s the thing to do is all too common. In doing this, are we thinking about the person receiving our gift? Will they be delighted or disappointed? What will make their faces light up? It’s something to think about, anyway, whether you are giving to a military unit or to your mom and dad.

Of course, you can always get them a gift card and let them pick out their own gift…