twofingersandathumb

What are we coming to, that our relationships with our cell phones, games and MP3 players have become so much more important than our people relationships that we won’t shut them off, but shut off people instead?

Last night I went with my friend and his daughter to dinner at a favorite local restaurant. Established entity in the community for years, it’s where sports teams have their end-of- season parties, friends meet up for drinks after work, church-goers have brunch and families go for dinner. It’s a place to talk and connect.

Soon after we ordered our drinks, a family was seated at the next table. It was comprised of mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and preteen and teenage daughters. I noticed something that I’ve been seeing more and more of lately: one or more of the family members will disengage from conversation with the others and engage instead with an electronic device all by themselves. In this case, the younger daughter separated herself from the others, her eyes glued to the blue-white electronic screen of a handheld electronic game that was illuminating her face in the dim restaurant light. She did not once look up except to place her order with the waitress. I did not observe her talking with or even turning toward anyone else at the table. She sat fairly much immobile, staring at the screen even while eating her meal. The others seemed to think nothing of it.

My friend noticed it, too, and reminded me of another evening at a different restaurant where the patrons in the next booth were each engaged with an electronic device throughout their meal, carrying on little conversation and hardly even looking at each other.

What do we value?

I’m not saying we should get rid of our devices. They are useful, convenient and entertaining. But should we use them in such a way as to divide and isolate ourselves from our precious friends, family and lovers? Isn’t face-to-face, human-to-human connection so much more valuable than these things?

Remember Stephen Stills’ lyrics, If you can’t be with the one you love, Love the one you’re with? Well, how about when you are with the one(s) you love, turn off your devices and actually be with them? Shut off your iTouch or whatever you’re packing and let them light up your face instead. Won’t that make for better relationships?

How to throw like a guy. Don’t pass up any opportunity to play catch.
A well-developed sense of humor is invaluable for life.
Be playful; take time to have fun.
Give a lot of hugs. But be selective who you give them to.
Music…make it the background of your life.
Dogs fill out a family.
A cup of good coffee is a foundation for meaningful conversation.
Baseball is the best of all games.
Barbecue.
Listen. People appreciate it when you hear them.
Telling a story gets your point across quickly.
Apologize when you mess up.
Always accept the apology when someone messes you up.
Nothing is unforgivable.
Kids are worth all the effort you put into them.
Swedish pancakes…the ultimate breakfast.
Be neighborly.
Serve others, but also take care of yourself.
Letting the guy open the door for you honors him and allows him to honor you.
Stay in the Word and put the Word in you.
Pray until the answer comes.
You can make it through anything when you are confident that God has your best in mind.
Focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, praiseworthy and good. Put the other stuff behind you and stop looking back at it.

posted by Alvalyn Lundgren

In defense of a well-developed vocabulary…

Sometimes we get to apologize for the words we use. I am not referring to words that put others down, like calling someone stupid, foolish, unworthy or unlovable. I am referring to the big words in our vocabularies that we use easily because we know how to. Words like: magnanimous, erudite, supercilious, sagacious. Words of that ilk, which seem to make some people nervous because they don’t know their meaning and therefore they don’t know how to respond.

Sometimes we get to apologize for the fact that we read, and have read throughout our lives, and have allowed our imaginations to develop through the turn of words rather than flatten through the turn of a television knob. (Yes, I grew up the in era of knobs instead of buttons and click-wheels.)

Reasonable thought is developed through effort. Our minds are transformed by tackling the big words and mastering them; by reading and re-reading a passage until a concept becomes concrete or by following the layers of a past-century novel deemed too boring and too intricate for most. Or by simply looking up an unknown word in a dictionary and getting to know it.

If we use the occasional four-syllable word in the course of casual conversation, it’s not meant as a put down. We’re simply using our abilities and resources. Words are power. Others will take offense and often attack us (with words) when they believe they’re in the weaker position. We find we’re criticized—even ostracized—as being puffed up, haughty or stuck-up. However, we stand up to scrutiny because we can support our arguments with ideas that are often best expressed in multi-syllable words. We don’t have to hide behind emotional outbursts. We do not have to attack a person’s character in order to prevail in a discussion or to simply communicate an idea.

Ideas are formed through words. Beliefs are expressed in words. Faith is built through words. Words cause us to act. Words persuade. Thoughts, imaginings and convictions cannot be easily dissolved by undeveloped opinion and a banal vocabulary. Words are powerful things. The more you have of them, the more equipped you are.

So if any words used in these comments are offensive to you, please accept my apology. I’m only writing about what I know.

posted by Alvalyn Lundgren

In our fashion-forward era, we can measure people by their clothing, money, popularity, what they can get away with, etc. We choose our clothing and accessories very carefully so as to make just the right impression. We want make sure we’re remembered well and so that we’ll be welcomed again.

When we get dressed each day, we should begin not with the visible apparel but with what is unseen: our behaviors, attitudes and character. These are what make a truly lasting impression on people. We change our clothes at least once a day. We can’t change our character that easily.

What we leave behind in terms of how we handle the pressures, problems and stresses of life is telling. We can hide our character flaws for a little while, until we are put under pressure. It’s like when metal is heated to its melting point and the dross (the impurities) rise to the surface and are easily seen. It is then that our real character emerges and impresses people all around us. If our behavior drops like boulders onto people, we walk away leaving them broken, bruised, disappointed and wondering. Trust is broken. Relationship is compromised. It will take a lot of work to heal and mend, if that is even possible. But if we instead bear our circumstances with quiet confidence and gentleness, relationship builds. We will look really good from behind as people watch us go.

Are people glad to see us leave? Or are they glad we were there?